Thursday, September 29, 2011

Wide Eyed Smilin Hits the Road?

Okay so I keep having these dreams... in these dreams we're traveling together, seeing places we've never seen and having the time of our lives. What's holding us back? Well... jobs and money. So I have been toying with a few ideas of how to make money. I was thinking maybe just make a bunch of jewelry for $1 each and seeing how that goes. Or asking for donations. Or a million other "maybes"..... But do you guys have any ideas?! If we could sell our possessions and find a way to do this, my blog would totally become a travel blog. I'm going to start buying a Mega Millions ticket every week. It never hurts to try. For now, if you want to donate $1, here's a button. I'm not asking for any of my friends to give me money, seriously, but I'm going to direct people here via various other outlets. lol. So if you clicked a link and ended up here, I'll take $1.... and hey, maybe if it works, I'll be on the road in a few months, visiting you guys!













http://www.gofundme.com/HaleyJoshRuca

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

[L]istful..


  • I am going absolutely insane knowing that my camera is filling up with pictures & I have even more pictures that will need to be taken in the next few days & my stupid adapter still isn't here. Not to mention the one I already own is just *poof* gone in thin air!

  • Took Ruca to the vet this morning, after she woke me up over 10 times last night itching so bad the bed was shaking... She always has season-change allergies, but I figured maybe she needed a cortisone shot. J took her to the vet and we find out she has fleas (huh?! we just bathed her the other day and I checked her cuz of her itchiness), another (or the same) ear infection, and her normal allergies. Seriously. Apparently it was our normal vet's partner and he showed J how to clean her ears... guess what!? Our normal effing vet showed us the wrong way in July when we took her, so apparently she's been living with an infection that entire time and we didn't know it. I feel like a horrible mother! So now she has itch relief medicine, flea/tick/heartworm for 6 months, more ear medicine & has to go back in 12 days for a check up. Under $200, so I'd say a mini success!

  • On top of that vet money, I just dropped $110 on ferret supplies. 20 lbs litter, 40 lbs food, 10 lbs bedding, 32 oz stuff that makes their pee/poop not smell as bad... should last at least 3 months of keeping them fed, clean, & not smelly! =]

  • Since announcing my hoop sale I've gotten sooo many orders. I'm starting to work on them this evening, I missed hoop making, it's been a bit of a lag lately!

  • Also getting my hair did after work. Fall color to come, if my adapter comes tonight I'll do a huge picture post soon! If not, I'll just use crappy cell technology to show you my new hair tomorrow =] I think I might add some long bangs for the first time in eons!

  • Tomorrow will be 3 years since my stepdad has been gone. I have been extremely good this year about not being super depressed. I think the shock and despair have finally worn off and I know that life is going to move on, full steam ahead. Just wish he could be here to meet his first grandchild next month.

  • Speaking of that first grandchild, this baby shower is giving me premature grey hair. Not really, but I feel like it will before the week is over! All that's left now is to buy the food, drinks & then decorate Saturday morning. I just want it to all go smoothly & be over so I can get on with my life. lol.

  • I've been organizing & planning my live music schedule for October & oh boy, I cannot wait! This coming weekend my friend is having a small benefit show with all-night music, then I'm taking 2 weeks off, on the 15th seeing Papadosio in Columbus, the 18th seeing EOTO in Cleveland, and then hopefully squeezing something in for a Halloween show too! Yay =]

  • Sunday, I'm starting (again) shopping for the cruise! Clearance sales have begun and I'd love to have lotsa cute stuff for the week we're gone. Also, I've lost about 10 lbs, so it's time for a size down in jeans. What what!?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

What's all the HOOPla?!

First things first, I'm about to talk about a sale on hoops!
I know most of my readers who hoop have already gotten a hoop from me,
but this is another avenue for me to promote, so promoting I am :)


Trinity Hoop
This hoop is a new style I'm working on (and is now for sale)
As pictured above you can see it is one hoop that breaks down into two mini hoops.
Right now, I'm offering them for $34 shipped, so it's a pretty good introduction price :)

* * *
Other Shippable Options...

Twin mini hoops! These are for hand hooping mainly, although I do have some friends who can do body work with them as well!
You get 2 matching or non-matching handhoops for $15 local, $22 shipped!
The lower ones pictured were for a friend, they're her "night & day" hoops!

As always, we have the collapsible travel hoop, which a few of you guys have bought, traded, or won from me! If you want a hoop with water in it, this is how I ship them, when you uncollapse it you can add water & tape it shut for a permanent hoop! Or you can keep it as a collapsible travel hoop and take it anywhere ~ even on airplanes ~ with you!
These are $30 shipped, which is a $6 savings.



This is a tribal style hoop, which I can do on any of my options.
Most people buy the swirled hoops, but these are also very eye catching, and get a LOT of compliments! They tend to look more like a fire hoop, but as a regular hoop!
These are also $30 when shipped collapsible style!
The one pictured above has glow tape, which of course is an additional cost!


As always, my stuff is available via Facebook or Etsy.
I haven't been listing things on Etsy until people ask for a reserved order because the fees are driving me insane! If you'd be so kind to direct people my way who may be interested, I'd totally appreciate it!


*Oh and STILL no card adapter for the camera. I am not a happy camper. My camera is full of pictures & inventory that I'd really like to upload. Only I would have a Sony which apparently takes a weird not-SD card, so you can't just plug it into the laptop. KILL ME NOW!

Monday, September 26, 2011

BASS head.

I ended my last post with... "if all goes as planned".... Well hello, that should have told you something!


It didn't go as planned, but it went 10000 times better! We had a perfect weekend!


Hit the road by 9 on Saturday, after dropping the pupster to my sister to babysit. We ended up at our hotel around 3:30-4, perfect timing. Our hotel was classy -- we did not fit in, but hey, I don't care, it was great! Our room had a super comfy bed with lotsa feather pillows, a couch & coffee table, a desk, a flat screen that was bigger than ours at home (WTF?!), a spiffy bathroom & a perfect little area to do my hair & make up. I heard tell the hotel also had a 24 hour gym, a big pool & jacuzzi, and yummy room service ~ however, we didn't take advantage of any of that. lol.


After getting cute & hanging out for a few, we hit the road to go see some stuff before the show. However, traffic didn't want that to happen! We got to park at the venue about an hour before the show, so we walked around a bit, scavenged for some food, and heard some loud Latin music from the festival going on across the street. We kinda cut into the super long line, so we got to go in pretty quickly when the doors opened.


The place was HUGE, but it really felt like a high school dance, because it was a gym floor. lol. The first DJ wasn't that great, just some chick spinning other people's music with no real additions. Big Gigantic was amaaaazing, we danced continuously for their entire set! I didn't realize how much a saxophone really adds to musical talent. Then next was Z-Trip, another DJ, who really reminded us of Girl Talk from Hookahville. We danced but I wasn't that into him... although he did mix up some Snoop Dogg, Tupac & Bone Thugs, which is always a pleasing kind of music for me! But Bassnectar just KILLED IT!!!!! To start, there was a drum line outside while we were waiting in line... Well right before Bassnectar came on, they started playing inside, with a line of rage sticks... Marching in/around the crowd, it was pretty sweet! Then, when they were done he dropped right into some heavy ass beats and just rocked for 2 hours I think. By the end of the set my legs & back were killing me, but I was just having SO MUCH FUN dancing. We were starving, so we headed back towards the hotel in hopes of finding something open ~ the only thing was a McD's, so we got some food.... didn't eat til we got back to the hotel OMG nastiest food ever! So we went to bed still starving. lol.


After a short night's sleep, we woke up and started getting ready for the drive home. After the horrible traffic the day before we decided not to try to get back to DC and sight-see... that we would stop if we saw anything cool on the drive home. Honestly, though, we were both on zombie level of operation, so we didn't really care one way or another. We stopped at a Bob Evans after about an hour on the road, and feasted, but then we just drove continuously, except for dinner time. It was a nice drive; lots of beautiful scenery, great conversation, and those moments when you're just quiet and holding hands and life seems perfect. I love moments like that.


The driving really just woke up my travel bug again. There's nothing I love more than just setting out for somewhere I've never been before ~ armed with a GPS, someone I love accompanying me, and of course a camera. I want to see every inch of the earth (well except the ocean, it kinda scares me)... Every mountain, river, forests, just... we have all these beautiful places that occur naturally in the wild, and so many people just never worry about going to see and experience themselves. I don't want to be someone who just sees things on paper and in pictures... Things are so much more beautiful in the real world, looking at them in wonder and loving it. I think I just need to get with the program and try to travel as soon as possible. For right now, I can't afford to go anywhere/do anything until after the cruise is over (can't complain, though, that cruise is going to make me so happy!)


Oh and still no camera adapter, so still no pictures. Rest assured, though, we got them! Pictures from the road, pictures of the show, and pictures of the classy hotel room. lol.


My week is bound to be busy. Tonight my mom is having a football watching party... lame! But the baby shower is in just a few days (Saturday), so my phone has been blowing up with RSVPs and I still have some last minute stuff to do & buy. I just hope it all goes off without a hitch! The cakes are ordered (yes, cakes... we have too many people coming for just one cake ~ ugh), the food assignments are delegated, the decorations are here, the hall is paid for & the presents from people who can't make it have already been rolling in. And she was worried people wouldn't show!


After the shower, I am heading to a friend's event, possibly setting up shop... If not setting up, I will be enjoying all night music with good people & good vibes. Can't complain about that, can I!?!


Until next time (hopefully tomorrow I can grace you all with lotsa pictures)!

Friday, September 23, 2011

& Party Everyday...

I am so ready...

My plan is that tonight I will disengage myself from email, Facebook & Blogger...


Sometimes I am almost sick of my smart phone. Why did I make the decision to have technology in my face 24/7. With Facebook's new set up, I am bombarded with notifications... so I already shut off that feature. I just want to spend the weekend alone with J and try to have some fun. I feel like it's not too much to ask, but my mood today matches the weather ~ cloudy, rainy & no sun... And I just want to get through the next 6 hours of work and be off for the weekend. I am trying to push myself out of this funk that landed on me last night, so rainbows & butterflies it is!!!! I will be happy.


Tomorrow by this time, we will be halfway to our destination, so that's a bright spot to look forward to. Before then, I have to work 6 more hours, go get my glow in the dark manicure, shop for something raver to wear, clean out my car, pack my bag & wait for J to get off work.



This week is normally a great week for me, because hello, new TV! Unfortunately I just can't get myself into anything. I've been reading a lot and DVR'ing all my shows, but I have no attention span whatsoever. I need to watch Law & Order SVU, Parenthood, Grey's, Secret Circle, 90210 & The Lying Game... all from this week. I guess I should probably sit down at some point Sunday night and start the list or my DVR will be full before I know it.


I hope all you lovely ladies have a great weekend, I hope my weekend is great too.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Swapoween!

Wellll, by now you've probably seen posts about Miss Angie & Beth's new swap ~ SWapOWEEN!


Swapoween


I'm pretty stoked, Halloween is my favorite holiday, and this year I don't have any big plans, so this will be my excitement =]


*Go check it out! All you have to do is be an active blogger & follow both ladies, but why wouldn't you want to?! They're awesome!

XoXo

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Post #2?!?!

Sooo....
Remember yesterday how I said cross your fingers cuz I was hoping for good news to come my way? Welllll, it did! Saturday morning, J and I will be hitting the road to go seeeeeee....


BASSNECTAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Big Gigantic, Z-Trip & DJ Laura)


At this venue (DC Armory)....
Which holds 10,000 people ~ oh my!


In Washington, DC!!!!!!!


* * * *


It's probably not the wisest, money-wise. But I'm taking the plunge here. I was watching Teen Mom, and Caitlyn & Tyler went to a B&B and ski lessons, because she wanted things to be different.... so I figured why not!?


I had plans with a friend to head to Southern Ohio Saturday and catch a one day festival. On Monday she told me she couldn't make it, so he offered to accompany me. Then we started researching other stuff going on that weekend and found this show. For the same ticket price & exact same hotel price, we can stay at a nicer hotel & enjoy a city that I've never gotten the chance to visit! So we spend a bit more gas money, a bit more drive time, and get to experience a fucking amazing show! I am so stoked! Not to mention we'll be getting lots of alone time, and enjoying a night in a veryyyy spiffy hotel! I think I need to buy a new outfit!


So now that it's all settled, booked & paid for,
I just get to wait!!


Tonight, having dinner with J & Ruca after work,
Tomorrow, working & finishing baby shower stuff,
Friday, working & watching Charlie Sheen roast with my good friend since she works 2nd shift and I never see her anymore!!!!

Saturday, leaving at the crack of dawn!


*Anyways, if all goes according to plan, we'll be in DC 6 hours before the show.
If any of you have been there ~ WHAT SHOULD WE DO?!
I'm not really a monument person, but if you think there's one I should see, let me know!

=]

Favorite Colors Swap Loot*

Photobucket


So after a [long] delay, my adapter still isn't here, so I caved & took crappy cell pictures so I could link up my post!


My favorite color is [lime green]
My partner was [the lovely Beth]


Since I already took photos when it came, but can't upload them yet,
I took some other ones this morning, so missing from the loot is:
1 cute pair of green/white striped boyshorts [yay!]
1 bottle of lime nail art paint =]
& 1 roll of neon duct tape =]


*Not to mention the cute ribbon & notes that were accompanying each little trinket!


Without further ado;




A bright green light!
A picture frame!
A pair of soft comfy socks (wearing them right now!)!


A handmade cup coozy!
A sweet little dish with tea!
Green jell-o!
A healthy Superfood bar!
A handmade bracelet (which I've been wearing quite often!)
& A cutesy little fabric flower clip!


Last, but not least;;
A pack of green sticky notes!
A pencil holder!
A darling little journal for when inspiration strikes!
Window paint (woooo!)!
And a roll of labels!


* * * * *
Beth's color was [teal] and I had a bit of difficulty shopping for her, but I found quite a bit that she loved! You can check out her loot here.

Have a great day!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Going with the Flow ~

Apparently today Blogger doesn't want me to upload pictures, so eff you Blogger!!!


My whole "going with the flow" philosophy has been working great for me. I have 10x less anxiety and I just take things as they come. I'm OCD about planning (hey, it's the Virgo in me!), and always like to have a plan. But sometimes you can't have a plan, and I'm okay with that too!


*Speaking of plans, I really need to buy a 2012 planner, however, cannot afford $50 Erin Condren planners that everyone & their mom in the blog world has. ---> Color me jealous, cuz they're badass! But who spends that much on a planner?! lol.


Another thing!!! Do any of you readers (or anyone you know) make custom tags? Back in July, I talked to a person who came highly recommended about doing some custom price tags. We worked everything out, she made a prototype for me, and she set up an etsy listing. I told her I was going out of town but would pay as soon as I got back.... well by the time I got back, she had taken her etsy to vacation mode, and since then hasn't answered any emails. I know, stuff happens, believe me, but I feel like a quick email could have been sent. Anyways, I'd like some made still, and I'd like them within the next month or so. I was planning on putting a picture up for reference, but since Blogger won't let me upload, I can't do that! If you or someone you know does this, send me a link if you will so I can contact them! =]


Keep your fingers crossed for me. I don't wanna jinx myself yet, but depending on how things align for me, I might be looking forward to an extremely exciting weekend ahead! I should know for sure by tomorrow, so I'll keep you all updated! =]


I've been reading Helter Skelter, about the Charles Manson murders, for the past 2 weeks. It usually doesn't take me that long to read, but this book was around 600 pages! Written by the prosecutor in the trial, it was extremely informative, and as someone who isn't even really into that sort of read, I really enjoyed it! Yesterday morning, I started Elixir by Hilary Duff (yes, Lizzie McGuire! hah!), and finished it last night. It annoyed me because the story basically followed EXACTLY the same story as another series I recently read, which is completely slipping my mind. Girl meets mysterious boy, falls in love, finds out he is basically living forever due to a fountain of youth type drink, doomed relationships over the years because of people who hate him/her, and blah blah blah. I finished it last night, but don't think I'll be reading the second book.


My new Kindle will be coming today, since my first one died a quick death for absolutely no reason. They were cool about it, overnighting me a new one, and it'll already be loaded with all my e-books, and connected to my Amazon account; they guy said all I have to do is turn it on and I'm ready to go! YAY, because the day before it broke, I bought a new book I haven't had a chance to even start reading! Not to mention there's a new Ellen Hopkins book out, who I absolutely ADORE! And if things go as planned, I should have lots of travel time to read this weekend =]


Alright ladies, have a great Monday & be sure to let me know if you have someone who can assist me with the price tags! =]

Monday, September 19, 2011

Argh!

*It's "Talk like a Pirate" day =]

*argh is pretty much the only Pirate-ism I know ;)


  • Who promises pictures when they have a camera that is not working correctly? That's me! I ordered the cord & adapter I need, so I should be in working order with pictures by the end of the week! It should ship today!

  • I had a fun weekend.

  • I lost a lot of sleep, made up for it with good times with good people.

  • I was freeeezing Saturday and headed home super early!

  • I feel like I'm living in slow motion sometimes, then it seems to fast forward & I'm not sure where that leaves me...

Friday, September 16, 2011

In Bullets;;



  • Last night, I left work and headed to the venue for this weekend, met up with J and 2 of our guy friends. We cleaned up some glass & nails that were on the ground, then they gave me the grand tour.

  • J is setting up my booth for me today while I'm at work (so I'll have a bomb ass spot), in exchange for me letting him take my car to Detroit tonight for a rave. I'm skipping the rave & hitting up the pre-party for the festival. My cousin's band is playing (and I'm skipping their next show), so I'm gonna have fun tonight =]

  • I'm no longer worried about anything in my life. I'm doing things as they come and having no regrets about anything. I feel a lot better and I'm only day 2 of this mindset.

  • I am loving my mailbox this week! I've gotten a friendship bracelet from Camille, a beautiful drawing by Angie, and a box full of lime green from Beth. The problem? My camera won't charge! FML.

  • The baby shower has been coming along wonderfully! The only downside? Her baby daddy has become a complete asshole, 100% different from when they started dating. He has refused to help whatsoever this entire time, and is now refusing to help buy anything for the nursery or the baby himself. He says she will get child support and until then she can leave him alone. I told her I think if that's the case he has made his decision known and shouldn't be called when she goes into labor. I'm a bitch, but I cannot stand to see my sister in that pain. Oh and on top of that, his mom offered me a check to help pay for the shower 3 weeks ago... and it has yet to appear in front of me. I guess I won't depend on it.

  • Other than that, I'm ready for the weekend to begin. 5 hours & counting....

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Still Breathing

I'm still here, just don't have much motivation to write. My life has basically consisted of coming, going, and being confused in the middle. I am officially a single woman for the first time since I was 18. Things are hard, but they're only hard when I'm alone. Custody has been awarded to me, and I still have been letting him take her during the day. I am leaving my ferrets with him ~ my sister is pregnant and can't be around them, and I think they'll hinder me finding a place. It breaks my heart. He says he's confused, that his brain feels cloudy, and that he hates knowing that when I cry it's his fault (and I say good, that's how you should feel, cuz it is your fault). Yesterday he told me he wants us both to keep saving for spending money on the cruise, and that he not only wants to go, he wants to go with me. I hate to keep myself hoping, but I really do hope that a little time apart can fix us. I'm not going to sit around and be miserable until December though, that's too much. I really am fine, until I am alone and have time to think and be sad.


This weekend, I'm vending a local fest that my friends throw, so that'll be fun :) I spent the entire weekend last weekend working on jewelry, since my stock had dwindled considerably over summer. Hopefully I make some cash flow, and I'll get to see lots of my friend's bands play, so that's always a plus! Plus I'll be out of the house!


My swap package from Beth came on Tuesday and I looveeed it! Right now I have to get the pictures from my camera to the computer, but my post will be up before the week's end! I loved everything in it, even wearing part of it right now!


Other than that, life has been boring. I'm just counting the days til the weekend. Oh and tonight going to pick up a lovely piece of jewelry I bought myself for my birthday, I'll try to post pictures tomorrow, it's gorgeous! And stopping to visit J's sister, since we need to talk about the cruise & she misses me... Ahhh... if only I could fast forward to November and just be done with this month, I always feel like "Wake Me Up When September Ends" should be my theme song every year.


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Today I...


  • Am a little bit stronger.

  • Haven't cried.

  • Am finishing up Beth's swap package!

  • Made plans for 2 weeks from now, for another mini fest.

  • Am ordering a cheap pair of cowboy boots from here (i've been searching for months!)

  • Woke up with my puppy in bed with me, then had a good morning with her before work.

  • Ate breakfast for the first time in 2 weeks.

--------------------------------------------------


I think I am going to make it out okay... I feel much more clear headed today than I have in 2 weeks. If he doesn't want to be with me, I'm fine with that. I will pack my things, I will move out, and eventually I will move on. I just want to be okay. It scares me how easily I slipped back into my patterns of disordered thinking. I hadn't been at that point for quite some time (years), and I instantly stopped eating or caring about eating. I can't do that to myself again... so I have made an effort to at least eat one small thing every mealtime. For the first few days I had thoughts of self-harm, without following through. I knew I was wrong for thinking about it, but I feel strong for preventing myself from doing it. Now is time for me to do things I want to do, have fun with my friends, and just hope we end up together. But if we don't, we don't. I think no matter what he'll always be a part of my life. I can't think of one good or bad or normal thing that has happened to me in over 5 years where he isn't part of the memory... so that has to be good for something.



Thanks all you lovely ladies who have given me words of support. You've helped more than my friends in the real world have.. it means a lot to me. Love.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

What I've Been Up To....

I really just have been avoiding writing because my head cannot focus on anything other than my depression right now... but I had an alright weekend, even if it ended up badly.


Friday, I worked all day and then made some hoops for the first time in awhile. I realized how much I had missed doing it, so my week this week is going to be focused on building my stock back up. When J got off work, I went over to our place with our puppy and we had a sleepover, which was nice..


Saturday, spent the entire morning being lazy with J and the pup... until he had to go to work until 2. We made plans to rent movies when he got off and order pizza, so I spent the rest of the day shopping with my sister and awaiting the night, because I felt things were going extremely well between us. We rented Limitless and got some pizza, and both realllyyy loved the movie...


Sunday, woke up and cleaned up a bit, then we started talking... and I discovered that once again he feels we need more space.. I was basically just a mess because it had felt like things were going perfectly. So I told him at that point that I would leave him alone for an entire week (next Monday) and that we could talk then. No talking, no texting, no hanging out, I just can't keep doing it and then being let down.


So that was fine... he agreed to it and even said he thought it was a good idea because he didn't know how he'd feel after being without me for a week. I am secretly hoping that he feels like an asshole after a few days and misses me, but I can't expect that with the way things are going.


He texted yesterday to get the dog and spend the night with her. I didn't really want to let him, but I took her over there, dropped her off and said bye. No long drawn out goodbye, no I love you, no hugs or kisses -- I neeeed to be strong. And then I was alright... watched 2 movies with my sister and mom, and then went to bed. But I woke up this morning in a dark house, alone in bed.. when usually my dog would be there with me. And I just started crying. Is it wrong of me to think that since he is the one leaving me that I should be able to have my dog whenever I want and not worry about him missing her?!


I haven't texted him or anything, but I am supposed to go pick her up at 5, and I'm just going to try to compose myself. I'm fine with him taking her while I'm at work or busy during the day, but in the 2+ years we've had her, she sleeps with me/us every single night... and the fact that I've been sleeping with him every single night for over 3 years and now he's taking himself away is bad enough, but I really just can't let him take our dog too.


.........


Yesterday I hung out with my best friend, sister and a few randoms all day. A lot of my friends seem to have gone AWOL in the past 2 weeks of my misery.... and it really opened my eyes because I am always, always, always here for people when they need me. Apparently the same can't be said for those people when the tables are turned. I'll remember it next time!


Got most of the invitations done for the baby shower (each one is handmade, and I am inviting about 150-175 people total), and now just have to work on the decorations. I'm not handmaking all of them, but I'd like to have a good quantity of quality stuff to decorate the room with. Her ex's mom called me the other day and told me there is a check in the mail for her contribution in planning (which was totally unexpected and appreciated x100)! I've already spent well over $200 and we're not even into the food side of things yet. Scary. But her check will help, hopefully it'll be here today so I can get some other things I need ordered. We're getting down to the nitty gritty, with 3.5 weeks to go.


And the best news of all ~ I'm drastically losing weight!
I guess it's not exactly good news since the reasoning is that I am too upset to eat half the time, and then when I do eat it immediately comes out one end or another. This is why I hate having digestive issues, everytime I get stressed at anytime in my life, I instantly start being sick 24/7.


I wish I just wasn't sick and upset all the time.... I am supposed to be a happy go lucky person, and right now I just feel like a shell of myself.